Memo interno escrito por el gerente general de una compañía multinacional de capitales norteamericanos, en reacción a la cultura existente dentro de su filial en Argentina.
From: General Manager
To: All spanish speaking staff
Subject: Improper Language Usage
It has been brought to our attention by several officials visiting our establishment in Bs. As. that offensive language is commonly used by our spanish speaking staff. Such behavior, in addition to violating our policy, is highly unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and staff. All personnel must immediately adhere to the following rules:
- Words like carajo, la puta madre or me da por las pelotas and other such expressions will not be tolerated or used for emphasis or dramatic effect, no matter how heated a discussion may become.
- You will not say la cago when someone makes a mistake, or la está cagando if you see somebody being reprimended, or que cagada when a major mistake has been made. All forms and derivations of the verb cagar are utterly inappropriate and unacceptable in our environment.
- No project manager, section head or administrator under any circumstances will be referred to as hijo de mil putas, guanaco, mal parido, es una mierda or es una bosta.
- Lack of determination will not be referred to as falta de huevos nor will persons who lack iniciative be referred to as cagón de mierda, pelotudo or boludo.
- Unusual or creative ideas offered by the management are not to be referred to as pajas mentales or forradas.
- Do not say como hincha las pelotas if a person is persistent, cago la fruta if a college is going throw a difficult situation. Furthermore, you must not say cagamos (refer to item #2) when a matter becomes excessibly complicated.
- When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say andate al carajo nor should you ever substitute May I help you? with Que mierda queres?
- Under no circumstances should you ever call our elderly industrial partners viejos chotos.
- Last but no means least, after reading this note please don't say me limpio el culo con ella. Just keep it clean and dispose of it properly.